The whining/fighting must stop!

Sorry I don't have any advince..but I wanted to say good luck!

I dont have any tried and true things that I have used since my daughter is just starting to get the whinning thing down (16 mos) but I know my sister always thought the time outs, sticker chart (if they behaved that day they got to pick a sticker out of a box full of stickers and are allowed to put them on their own calendar, then at the end of the month/week if they had a certain number of stickers they where allowed to pick a prize, could range in a day out with mom/dad without other sibling around, could be a day at the park, could be a toy at the store, etc etc) or my sister has had to result in taking away of the toys, if the child misbehaved and would not straighten up after 2 warnings on the 3rd they had to go into room with mom and pick out a toy that would be taken away until they have behaved for atleast a day. Just a few other suggestions, good luck!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I really pride myself on handing out hope. But in your case, this is just the beginning. I think you are on target with the candy in the bag idea. Another idea would apply a little better later on, give them areas to compete. My kids race everything. Who can get ready first in the morning, who can get chores done first, who can drink their milk first. I try to keep it fun, but stupid arguments are not uncommon. Right now they are in a chore race, and we had arguments over false starts. If they are done in an hour they get a piece of gum the first one done gets a whole pack. I hope that helps at least a little.
Oh and another tip. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Could someone take one of the boys for a while, a play date, an afternoon nap, whatever helps.

OMyGosh!! I am going through the exact same thing with 2 and 4 year old GIRLS! I like the candy idea, I'll have to try that. On Sunday I was so fed up with all the crying and fighting that I left hubby and kids in the house and went for a long walk. I had my baby a month ago and they seem to have gotten meaner and more troublesome. I wonder if they are just bored. But the funny part of it all is that they are so mean to eachother, but they are best friends and can't live without eachother. So I am right there with ya.

i don't know how you are with dicipline and of course raise them however youa re comfortable.
but
my husband is very big on siblings getting along (my boys are only 3 months so it's not an issue yet!) but he thinks one of the worst things is when siblings like bite each other or whatever. he wants a lot of respect for one another from them and he will punish any bad behavior the one displays to another.
that is just us and ho we plan on dong things.. maybe it will be different when the time comes though!.

Hello, you thought you are the only one that experienced this? I stayed home for 6 yrs to be there for my son and because of my husband's nature of work, staying home is the only option. and we thought 4 year gap will be the nicest thing for all of us? I never thought that it will be this way today and for the last 2 yrs. My son who is 7 is always teasing, chasing, and hitting his 3 yr old sister. and always jealous of each other. Please tell me that this is a sibling rivalry. They fight about almost everything. He wants me, she wants me, my husband wants me too. I am pretty much depress for the last 3 yrs and I am in denial with this I admit. I tried to disciplined them in the good way I know and sometimes spanked and giving time outs not just working for me. In addition to that, my husband know nothing about raising kids. We have 2 different upbringings. He was isolated in the farm, lived with his folks for 39 yrs until we got married, no so called friends but me and his brother in law. He is very quiet and all he wants to do is work in his shop and will go to bed just before I go to work. Not to mention, he don't hear me when I am talking to him so I have to repeat it like 4 times or yell at him most of the time. You can say I am criticizing him but this is the man I am married to for almost 8 yrs now. I have a lot to say about him but believe it or not he is my husband. The truth is I am still here because of my children. If its not for them, I am on my own now. He's a good guy, never smoke, never drink alcohol, no gambling problem, not much of sense of humor, does not like to go to church and loves me no matter what I say to him. about me, i am a very outgoing person, always happy and loves to laugh. I am friendly and have lots and lots of friends. I have a positive attitude for many years and some situations i have encountered made me tough like his parents dislike me and i don't have anybody to defend me but myself. when his mother died, we let his father stay with us for 9 months. I was cooking, doing his laundry and put them back in his room. one time I let him fold his clothing because i am sick of doing it and you know what happens? He was mad at me and that day was hell for everybody. He's out of my house now but a few feet away and he's there every supper time. my husband was serving him like a king and that what he likes. you can say I hate him, YES. but still I can't say it or show it because of my kids. They like to play with him and yet he never teach them anything as in anything. My husband and I always argues about our family. His and mine. Only God knows what's going on in my mind. I want to disappear but I can't because of my children. The past 6 years are hard. My parents live overseas. I am the only one here. But this is not about me and my husbands, its about my 2 kids, I feel that I am a bad parent most of the time. I don't know if I made a mistake raising them. As i have said i am depress and i do want to talk about it with other people like other Moms...for the last year that I started working, my attitude has changed. i became more cruel and selfish whenever I am in my house. at work i can be really happy and forget about what's going on in my house. i am thinking about of my kids how they are when their father is asleep. can somebody tell me what's wrong with me? I want to change my attitude towards my children and my husband and his family, I just don't know how....and can i get something for my PMS. its really bad. I scream, shouts, angry, crying and want to leave the house and don't come back. Please give me some advise. I will appreciate them very much. thank you.

You are so not alone! Ours went through a pretty bad adjustment period for about a month before #3 came and now they are starting to get a bit better...I think it is just craving attention...I really struggled to give them one on one time but when I did, they sure seemed to really value it. You are probably really tired with the pregnancy, but if you can stand it, maybe take each one individually for an ice cream and just let them talk :)

You can always bring to the store & let them play in the play area while you shop or just sit & talk with us :)

Shelly
www.Elegantmommy.com
Tastefully Simple Independent Consultant

Hi Everyone,
I was going to start my own discussion about this topic, but then I found this one. Sometimes I think the whining and fighting is going to drive me insane. I will be trying some of your suggestions, and I just wanted to thank you for the moral support that I am not alone. I was beginning to think that the behavior was because I'm not doing a good job as a mom.

Can anyone recommend a good discipline book - especially for whining? I am starting to experience the same thing. I have 3 children under the age of 3 (2 1/2, 1 1/2 & 2 weeks). My older two whine all the time! My son (the middle child) is rough and loud, my daughter (the oldest) is whiny and gets easily frustrated/angered. They like to get in each others faces. They are much better apart then together because they antagonize each other!