How safe are our schools?

ABSOLUTELY!! I couldn't agree more. Are some parents just too busy these days to fully care for their children, or what is the deal? It just seems like more and more parents just really don't give a damn, and then their kids suffer. I don't get it, and it makes me very sad.
My husband was supposed to be a teacher. A middle school biology teacher to be exact. He got his degree and did his student teaching, and that's when he realized that he couldn't make a career out of it. He loved the kids, but some of the parents were a different story. He had some kids who were struggling, and he wanted to meet with their parents, but they wouldn't show up. Even at parent teacher conferences, some parents wouldn't bother to come, and others had the attitude that they didn't care what their kids did. He got very, very frustrated and decided that he just couldn't do it. It's such a shame because he would have been a good teacher. On the other end of the spectrum, he also coached basketball, and he had such a problem with parents yelling at him because he didn't play their precious little Timmy during the game. This wasn't an elementary school team. This was middle school, and by then you start to get into more of the competitiveness in sports. He had so many battles with parents, and no matter what he said to them, they just had it in their heads that their kid was getting shafted. I think attitudes like that give a kid a sense of entitlement when there really shouldn't be one, and I'm not sure if that can lead to bullying or not. Kids these days just don't know how to work for something. They're handed everything so their feelings don't get hurt, but you don't learn a thing that way.

I have to admit that dealing with tough parents is the primary reason I probably won't go back to teaching high school full time. I LOVED my students, LOVED the classes I taught, and I felt safe in the school that I worked in. For the most part, I had a dream job, except when it came to those parents that just did not want to help their children take responsibility for their lives. Thankfully, the percentage of "bad" parents was pretty low, but even dealing with that small percentage was so frustrating and time consuming, that it's become the primary factor affecting my decision whether or not to get back into the field when my children are older.
I had parents who would regularly justify their children's cheating,or fighting, or picking on other kids, who would lie to get them out of school work, would deny their children's theft when it was caught on school cameras, and would buy alcohol for their kids to party with on the weekends. I had lots of parents who just didn't care enough to return phone calls or show up for conferences or meetings, sometimes meetings THEY had called to arrange. I had children that came to school without shoes or coats, who hadn't eaten breakfast, but would write in great detail about their parents' drug use or prison time.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I had parents who happened to also be school board members who made it clear that my job would be quite difficult if I didn't cast their children in the school plays. I had parents, when I taught in Michigan, who actually requested that their straight A students be tested for special education because they found out that special ed. students were allowed extended time on SAT testing without their scores being "flagged" for college admissions teams. I had parents who would regularly check their children's grades a day or two ahead of the end of a grading period and call or email to insist that I allow their student to do extra credit or make up long-overdue work so they could get an A in the class. The gamut of rediculous parental behavior literally went from one end of the spectrum to the other. And I wasn't even close to the only teacher dealing with this. Lots of my colleagues had it even worse. I had a colleague who was punched in the face at parent-teacher conferences, another who was publicly accused of seducing his students because the accuser's son didn't get an A, and a third who was followed home from conferences by a man with a gun. She had to call the police to stop him before she could go to her home and get out of her car. I've had my car windows bashed in, nasty messages left on my answering machines, and rude, untruthful, anonymous letters (brave writers, eh?) sent to my principal.
I've been told by colleagues, bosses, and (other) parents for ten years that I'm a great teacher and drama coach. And my students learned and did well for me. In fact, I was excited this week to find out that out of 20 students that started last year in my class reading and writing significantly below grade level, 18 passed the Minnesota state writing test administered at the end of the year (and one of the kids who didn't pass, was absent the day of the test!). I love teaching and think it is among the most noble professions on earth. I would love to go back when my kids are old enough to be in school, but I hesitate when I think of the headaches I've had dealing with those few parents that drove me crazy. I realize there's a Sh** factor in every job, and perhaps this was it for me, but it sure would be dreamy to work in a world where parents and teachers truly did work together for the success, safety, and health of ALL children.
And, honestly, I think we'd be a lot safer that way, too. In my experience, the kids who turn violent in schools are (and probably have been for years) in serious need of attention, love, guidance, boundaries, and someone to really listen to them and help them cope with their rage/depression/mental health issues. I had lots of kids that would show up a few minutes early, or stay after school with that clear "I need to talk" look in their eye. I always tried to take the time to listen to them, and to get them more help if they needed it. But I also knew, that for every kid that would come talk to me, there were several who wouldn't, and some of those kids didn't feel they had anyone to talk to. Personally, I don't think all the metal detectors and security guards in the world can take the place of a few good counselors, a good peer couseling program, the involved mentorship of parents and other adults in the community, and the genuine, committed desire of a community to listen to and care for kids of all ages.

Well said....I can't see myself ever going back to teaching either because of some of the parenting skills (or lack of) that are being used today.....I could write more, but I believe you covered the subject very well!

Healthy Home, Healthy Family, Healthy Income
www.momfriendlywork.com

While I do agree that some parents can be a royal pain in the rear, I feel like that is even more reason for great teachers who are good adult role models to stay in the profession. The kids who don't have much positive guidance at home are exactly the kids who need dedicated, passionate and compassionate teachers.

I agree with you, I'm just not sure I have more than ten years worth of the unbelievable patience and indomitable optimism it takes to stay in this profession. I always promised myself that when the frustrations of teaching started to outweigh the joy I felt in the classroom, as a service to my students, I would leave teaching. I've known way too many teachers that were just "hanging in there" waiting for retirement, who had long since lost their passion for the profession, and their compassion for kids, that I promised myself I wouldn't let it get to that point. I'm only five months out of teaching, and I'm not completely sure I won't go back, I just know that I was burnt out when we moved to Sioux Falls, and it wasn't because of my students. Therefore, I chose not to look for a full time teaching job here.
I realize we've strayed from the topic here, so I just want to emphasize that I didn't mean simply to "vent" about my frustrations with the small percentage of really bad parents I dealt with (although I did accomplish that venting, and it felt pretty good!). My ultimate point was that we would all be better off if we worked to build communities where we really paid attention to kids, provided positive role models, created safe and reasonable boundaries, and taught them to truly respect themselves so they might respect others as well. I just don't think that creating safety in our schools is all about metal detectors and security guards. As an example of my point, over the ten years I've taught, most of the schools I've worked in have instituted "zero tolerance" policies regarding a variety of offenses from weapons to drugs. I don't argue with the policies themselves, but in order to institute them, the schools have hired police officers, installed cameras and metal detectors, and hired security guards. Nowadays when my students lament to me "This place is like a prison," I can't really argue with them. In that same ten years, most of the school districts I've worked for have cut the number of counseling and support positions; they've cut their school nurses; and they've cut a number of school administrators who used to deal with discipline issues. I've worked in districts where school secretaries, making not much over minimum wage, were dispensing drugs as though they were pharmacists. Why? Because the one nurse in the huge, urban district spent all of her time in an administrative building across town processing immunization records. Does this make sense? My point is, when you remove the caretakers from school buildings and replace them with cameras, metal detectors, and police officers (No offense to the police officers; I've worked with some great liason officers!) it does not surprise me that the environment becomes more hostile.

Exactly. And until parents start focusing on parenting, rather than on "keeping up with the Jones'" we will continue to have these wayward children causing tragedies in our schools. So many parents these days seem to be more concerned with the clothing their children are wearing and the toys they are playing with than on the content of their character. There is entirely too much focus on being the best at sports, or on appearances, and not nearly enough focus on teaching values and morals and understanding. When you read statistics about the number of families who rarely, if ever, even sit down to have a family meal, it really makes me sad to think how many children are just aching for some attention from their parents. Children need parents...they don't need video games, computers, designer clothes, and the like. They just want to be loved and paid attention to. Until the majority of parents remember that, our children will never really be safe in our schools, or anywhere else, for that matter.

In my opinion the schools here in SF are very safe. My three kids have attended public school since we moved here 6 years ago. They attended Jefferson Elementary for the most part, which is a smaller school, and we absolutely felt that our kids were safe in school there. My eldest daughter went to Edison last year (starting high school this year, yikes) and the principal there is very open to parent communication about any concerns and will schedule meetings with teachers, counselors, parents, etc. to resolve the kids' issues, teasing, bullying, whatever.

I felt that Edison was a safe school, although my daughter experienced her share of middle school drama, it was resolved well and promptly by the school staff. The resource officer does a good job getting to know the kids so they feel comfortable around him- not like they are being watched all the time or treated as potential criminals.

i agree that the schools in sf are as safe as possible. something bad can happen anywhere, not just in schools. the schools do a great job of putting policies in place and enforcing them. i also agree that the resource officers (police) in the school do an amazing job of getting to know the kids and being a positive presence in the schools. i went to washington high school, and everybody knew officer hank and you knew that you could go to him if you ever were concerned about being safe. i was a teacher for 6 years and i can tell you that teachers and school staff care deeply about keeping your children safe. :)