Culinary mishaps

Well, when I first started getting really into cooking, I decided I was going to make Creme Silk Pie. I got a frozen crust, got the pie mix all prepared and placed it in the crust. Later that night while eating my mom looks and me and says "Um, Rocky, did you forget something?" I looked at her, "what", she says, "what kind of crust is this?" I was looking even more confused trying to figure out what was wrong, I mean really, I bought the crust, I did not make it! Yup, I forgot to cook the crust!!! Crazy
Now tonight, I offered some brownies that I made to some friends, cuz it is a big pan of them, and I get home and my daughter has played in them....hhhmmmm, psveal, I think she is hanging around your son to much...LOL!!!!! So much for sharing these brownies.

Where do I even begin??

Before we were married, I was visiting my then boyfriend (now husband) on a school break. I decided to try and replicate a tortelloni dish that had a parmesan white sauce. I called him to bring parmesan cheese home from the store, and he showed up with a cannister of that cellulose based shaker cheese (like you would sprinkle on pizza). I was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but I tried it anyway. Yeah, we ended up baking those poor tortelloni into a virtual brick . . . Not pretty or romantic in ANY way.

Later, after we were first married, I decided to try some fancy recipe from an Italian cookbook. It was supposed to be a layer cake that used whipped heavy creme in the batter. Well, I must have whipped a little too long, cause when I baked that thing, it turned out to be about a half inch thick and the consistency of tire rubber. I was a little hormonal at the time, so I was practically in tears when I showed it to my new husband (who had yet developed the "hormone-radar" he has today). He laughed and said "I think you invented flubber!" I know now that he was just trying to make light of the situation, but I completely lost it. I started sobbing, opened the door to our balcony which overlooked a pretty major four-lane, busy street, and gave that thing a frisbee toss off the balcony. The second it left my hand, I thought "Oh my God! What have I done??? I could have just caused a major car accident!" As it flew through the air, I had visions of it cracking someone's windsheild or causing someone to swerve and hit another car. By the sheer grace of God, it got caught in some tree branches before it hit the highway. Seeing that changed my attitude immediately. I realized I was lucky not to have caused a vehicular homicide by flying, rubber cake.
I gave up, and made my husband take me out for dinner.

Oh, our trials and tribulations with cooking.... when my aunt was a newlywed, she once boiled hotdogs for my uncle. She served her boiled hotdogs with a gray substance. When he asked what the goop was, she told him, "It's gravy, of course!" She had made gravy out of the water the hotdogs were boiled in. She also tried boiling meatloaf. Gray meatloaf. I myself have made baking soda biscuits (brown hockey pucks), black beer can chicken, meatloaf that was burned to a crisp on the outside and raw on the inside, dust brownies (yes, I now know what dust would taste like), and guacamole that was like chewing on rock salt. I have NEVER not burned Hamburger Helper Cheesey Hashbrowns--which I LOVE when someone else makes it. And I'm the queen of the 3-4 course meals as I can never get things timed correctly to be done at the same time. Really, if I could rehash all of my culinary mishaps, it could fill a book. Well, maybe a pamphlet. I've since given up.
"Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They're making head lines!!"

I consider myself quite an accomplished cook in my own right...when I am not trying to do a million things at once. I am notorious for burning bread, taco shells (yes, once I lit the kitchen on fire with those things!) and rice. My food is generally pretty good, when I am paying attention!

http://www.sanfordhealth.org/CradleRoll/BabyList.cfm?CradleRollParentId=21188

Well I've had a few cake failures, the first was with my son's first birthday cake, he was allergic to milk to I have the brilliant idea of replacing the milk in the recipe with his soy formula. It was awful!!!! The second was a cake implosion. I was making a boob cake and used the Pampered Chef batter bowl for the mold. I seriously underestimated the baking time. It looked done and tested done (I thought) until I turned it out of the bowl and as it was cooling completely collapsed. My husband walked into the kitchen and asked "bad implant?" Fortunately the warm lava like cake batter inside the cooked part was delicious. My latest cake failure was a failed attempt at a mad hatter cake. It collapsed on my stovetop in the middle of the night. Messy, but again, very tasty nonetheless.
My first Thanksgiving dinner did not go well. I was a 19 year old newlywed and we were supposed to have gone to a young adults group dinner with some other military couples, only on Thanksgiving Day I was sicker than a dog, the puking and other stuff all at once. I wanted to make it up to my husband since he had to miss out on his first real Thanksgiving dinner in 3 years. So I went and bought a fresh turkey and prepared all the trimmings. The turkey was frozen inside and ended up complelety underdone, the butterhorns were a mess, the only thing that turned out well was the corn. Good thing is it left lots of room for improvement. Now my holiday dinners rival Martha - HA!
This past Halloween the kids and I were watching Rachel Ray, she was making a spooky themed dinner which the kids and I agreed looked fantastic - pumpkin=good, pasta=good... so we went to the store and bought all the stuff - the pumpking penne pasta was DISGUSTING! We ended up throwing it all away.
The Cake goddess - Cakes for all occasions, desserts and cookies, too!

Let's see....early cooking mishaps...pop in place of BAKING soda in cookies. I did put a chicken--still wrapped in the plastic wrap/styrofoam tray from the market--in the oven (Hey that's the way the hot/ready to eat one's looked at the store. I didn't know. I was young when I did this one.) The best though was when I made the first romantic dinner for my husband when we were dating. I made Chicken Cordon Bleu. Fancy linens, candle light, mood music--the whole nine yards. He cut into this perfect looking gourmet meal, only to find the chicken was still raw inside. Thank God, I had other skills that night. ;)

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, but the first turkey I ever made, I thought, how "cool" the stuffing is already in there. Yep, left the bag in the turkey, only to discover it was the giblets or whatever that gunk is, right in the old bird. Not a lot of other mishaps come to mind, but that doesn't mean they didn't happen, just means my therapist hasn't gotten that far yet! : ) HA!

When I was in high school I decided to make Snickerdoodle cookies, and I accidentally put in one cup of flour too many, thus earning the name "Brickerdoodles". They were pretty terrible. I also once baked a chicken with the plastic, digital food thermometer inside it. Thank God the thing didn't explode, but it did melt and smell horrible. Oh, and I cooked a roast in a glass 9x13 pan and pretty much burned the heck out of it. Shortly after that I bought an actual roasting pan. :-)

I spaced out making baking powder biscuits and used baking soda instead. They were absolutley disgusting.
The Cake goddess - Cakes for all occasions, desserts and cookies, too!

When I was maybe 10yrs old, I talked my mom into letting my brother and I make a birthday cookie for my other brother. Well, I accidentally put 1 cup of salt in it instead of 1tsp!!!! Yeah it was disgusting!! And it is still brought up with family to this day! oops---hehe
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" ~Unknown

I can honestly say I have never had a culinary mishap but I did have one cake mishap where I was making an 8" tall snare drum, had it stacked and iced perfectly, was applying the final side embellishments on a tilting turn table and the dang thing slid right off the board! The weight was too much for the "tilt" I had going on.

I grew up cooking, at the age of 5 I could cook an entire meal. I made my first Thanksgiving dinner, everything by myself, at age 12.

~ Simply Sweets by Sheila ~ Custom Wedding Cakes and Desserts for all Occasions! Please DO NOT PM for cake info, email leve0531@sio.midco.net

I have a recipe for soft chocolate chip cookies which calls for pudding mix. The first time I made them, I made the pudding then added it to the batter. I just could not figure out WHY the batter was so runny, so I added more flour. They ended up being black on the bottom and very undercooked on the top. I felt horrible. (It was the first time I made cookies for my BF- now hubby) He and his roommate didn't care. They ate the whole batch and said they tasted fine. That made me feel a whole lot better. DH still brings it up when ppl talk about "culinary mishaps."

I was waiting to see if Green Eyed Godess posted this or not... so I will. Her husband was comming to our BBQ (she was sick) well I am not sure what it started to be but he made a cake and one of the boys grabbed a chunk of it. So he took the white cake and crumbled it up. Then he added TONS of sugar to blueberries and strawberries and kind of made a glaze. He added butter cream frosting and stirred it all together!

He walked into my house and said if its gross you can put it in the garbage... It was the ONLY thing that was made that ALL of it got eaten! SO yummy!!
~*SARAH*~